So let's consider the combination of SLIM and FAT. The blunt reality is that inside every FAT Jack is a SLIM Jim. No matter how FAT you get, there's always that pesky human nature of being SLIM lurking inside you, and it's constantly wanting to be let out so it can start throwing SHIT.
And what this means, as you're learning to be FAT, is that you constantly have to be vigilant. You need to second guess yourself. Remember when you were hax0ring your brain with smartness and shit? Your brain didn't like that. It wanted to stop learning and be a little fucker about everything, rebelling against... well, ultimately, itself.
The same thing will happen as you're trying to be a better human being. Even before you get into being a badass, just the part where you started out trying to make yourself a little smarter... and now the part where you're trying to be a better person... these things take time to sink in, and during that time your brain will fuck with you.
Your brain has been conditioned over all the years to like being SLIM. Not just in terms of being smart, but in terms of all behaviour - it would literally rather have you sit down and shut up and do as you're told. If you work in a soul-sucking miserable hellhole of a day job, this makes your brain happy because it never has to learn anything. Or think very much. Or reason about anything.
Instead, it gets to entertain itself, and one of its favourite pastimes is SHIT-slinging. This is fun for your brain, which will merrily regale you with all the reasons this is all someone else's fault. You could totally have gotten that other job if they hadn't been such pricks. Plus Bob in accounting took that promotion you should have gotten. And your boss is just an enormous faggot who hates you. Why, I'll bet you could swim across a whole lake.
You're right, I could! Thanks, plane!
And now that I've left probably 80% of my audience on the curb, I will continue as though nothing has happened, because I'm being tribal and shit. That was a "secret handshake" of sorts, so people who are really in the tribe know who they are. Don't worry, you're in too. You're special. Just not as special as some people. Is this meta enough for you?
Your brain doesn't like to work because it's been taught over the years that work is pointless and there is no reason to work. In fact, it's often been taught that while the squeaky wheel gets the grease, the nail that sticks up gets hammered down. Because most people only care enough about you to figure out what value they can extract from your existence, and any other attention or effort you demand from them is a Bad Thing which must be stopped.
But as you gradually morph yourself from SLIM Jim to FAT Jack, your value is no longer going to be defined by what you can deliver to others, because you're not going to look for your value in the eyes of others. You're going to look to yourself. FAT Jack doesn't need anyone's approval or endorsement. He's FAT fucking Jack, and he's a badass.
Your value is going to be defined by your ability to go out and get what you want out of life. And that's a hard thing to define, but you're going to have to define it. We'll get around to discussing that, but it will be a while yet, because there's a lot to discuss.
Right now, occupy yourself with the core needs of preparing your brain how to be a badass: cram more knowledge and skills into it, and work toward reducing your SLIM behaviours while you ramp up your FAT behaviours.
Keep this up over the next several weeks, and you'll be well and truly prepared to just flex your FAT Jack self and get badass all at once when we get there. You just need some background... a solid, reliable understanding of how your brain works at an even deeper level. Beyond the library metaphor, and into something more segmented and meaningful. So you can understand what the purpose of being SLIM is - and why you shouldn't discard it entirely - while also understanding how being FAT maps into your brain's natural organisation.
But it's the weekend, guys... TGIF and all that, or in my case shabbat shalom... so we'll get started on that Monday.