suspicious

Confirming Suspicions

So the next part, of course, is Confirming suspicions. He said, confirming the title, which you suspected had something to do with the subject of the post. Which, again, you suspected would be about the C in NICER... and this has now been confirmed.

There's the simple way to do this and the complicated way. The complicated way is to climb inside your customers' heads via modeling and psychological analysis to figure out what they already suspect and say "that is totally true."

But there's an easier way.

See, the human brain is hardwired to solve problems. So what you can do, instead of trying to figure out or guess what they suspect, is hand them a problem that doesn't look like a problem.

Let's say you explain the situation your friend Larry found himself in at the club. Larry walked into the club, and he saw immediately the woman he wanted to be with. So he pushed his way through the crowd to her, when behold! She was wearing a wedding ring. And being a gentleman, Larry pretended he was just going to the bar, where he ordered a drink.

Then he noticed this other woman next to him, and offered to buy her a drink. She accepted, and they chatted and talked and Larry was really hitting it off with her, but no matter what he said or did it never seemed to get him anywhere. He ordered her drink after drink, and eventually they got a table and some burgers. But at the end of the night, Larry was left high and dry as she went off with some jerk.

Can you guess what the audience suspects?

Well, obviously. They suspect this girl was leading him on for free drinks and food. And they're right; she was. So you explain "hey, that totally happened and I can tell you why and here it is: Larry went for another girl first, and she knew it. She saw him headed for another woman and she knew he was planning to buy her drinks and get her food and maybe go home with her. He was keyed up to deliver. But when she wasn't available... he went looking around for #2, and nobody wants to be #2. She didn't have a problem with Larry. She had a problem with being #2, so she made Larry pay for it."

You were pretty sure that's what was up, right?

Feel good about yourself for being right, don't you?

Of course you do.

People love this shit. And it's just the most unmitigated bullshit, really, because it's like riding candy out of a barrel or something like that. I think I got my metaphors confused there, but anyway.

The whole point of this is to appeal to your customer's dog-brain and submission to authority.

It's like you hold up the ball and say "Hey boy! See this? What is this? See it? What is it, boy? Is it your ball? Is that your ball? Oh, yes it is! It's your ball! You know your ball! Yes, you do! Who's a good boy who knows his ball?!"

And your dog's like "YES! YES! I SEE IT! IT'S MY BALL! YES! MY BALL! IT'S MY BALL! IT IS! YES! BALL! MY BALL!"

Dog jumping for ball
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODJAZZHANDS!!!!!

And then you pump-fake it and watch your dog run off and act all confused while you snicker to yourself. No, of course you don't. That sucks. Don't be a dick.

See, there's this thing wired into your brain where people agreeing with you makes you think they are smarter. If you walk up and ask them a question like "Is that your ball?" and you know it is, then when they say "Yes! That is my ball!" you think they're smarter because they knew it was their ball.

Not much smarter, but still. You would probably ask them something like "is Barack Obama stupid?" instead, and then if they agree with you, they must be smart. That's a little mental equation that works like this:

If a person is smart, that person believes smart things. I am smart. Therefore, what I believe is a smart thing. So if someone believes what I believe, that person is also smart.

Skeptical Laina is skeptical.
MmmmmmmI'm not sure that's entirely rational.

Well. of course, it isn't entirely rational. It's based on the fundamental supposition that you are at least as smart as the person you are evaluating. Which we all just assume, as a matter of course. So when we agree with someone else who says "Is this your ball, boy?" or "Is Barack Obama stupid?" - that doesn't make us think they're smart. Of course we think that. We're smart.

But you can hijack this by getting the other person to ask the question. You can get the other person to think "Is it because he approached the other girl first?" without saying it out loud, and then when you say "why, yes it is," you make them think you're smarter.

Flip the script. Just like yesterday with inhibiting fears. Inhibiting fears so they're willing to stay is one thing, but you can also put the fear over there so they have to stay. And, at the very least, they won't go there.

Hence sites like warriorforumsucks.com which exist for the purpose of making you afraid to go to the Warrior Forum. then planting and confirming suspicions about the place.

Tomorrow we'll talk about failures.